The Knot's Spring/Summer 2009 magazine, which I also got in the gift bag mentioned in the last post, has an editorial note called "Reality Check". In it, the Editor in Chief lists things that are "unreal" such as "Having your wedding on the same day as your best friend" (ala the movie Bride Wars), "Budgets with six zeroes, like those on Platinum Weddings", "Kicking your bridesmaid out of the wedding the day before" and "Ordering the cake a couple of weeks before the wedding."
My best friend isn't engaged, my budget doesn't have six zeroes, I don't have bridesmaids but it's a couple of weeks away from our wedding and no wedding cake has yet been ordered.
Carley, the editor, goes on to say "As if! The truth is you should allow six to nine months."
I'm not gonna front, I love wedding magazines. Seriously, I had no idea how much I didn't know. I learn more each week, usually while getting my toes painted (awesome as the magazines are, I'm an all-internet kind of girl). And it's not all fluff, as everyone who is not getting married assumes it is (ok, ok, as I assumed). There's a ton of useful information about negotiating with vendors, getting a dress on sale, and general tips and tricks about weddings that I would have never came up with on my own. And Theknot.com really has been invaluable.
But stuff like this makes me a little crazy. Six to nine months for a cake?! I've baked, I know how long cakes take. No cake takes a month, much less six. How long should the engagement be if the cake takes six to nine months? Six to nine years?
The idea that all things wedding-related need to be planned so far in advance to be right only adds to the stress of wedding planning. It gives brides too much time to fret over all the meaningless details. There are so many big details to fret over (wait, did our rabbi just suggest we have the ceremony in NY? 'Cause...that's not happening) that the idea that I have to spend nine months wondering if I've made the right cake choice (and, what? Checking in with my baker each month to see that they're still open for business and planning to bake our cake in like half a year?) just doesn't sit right with me.
We're visiting our wedding venue in the next few weeks. At that time, we'll meet with various bakers, florists and djs to decide exactly what we'd like. It will be about 3 weeks before our wedding day. And I trust that on our wedding day we'll have a cake, despite not having picked it out before we even got engaged. If not, maybe I'll owe The Knot an apology.