Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Tiiiiiiiiiiime is on my side. Yes it is.

The Knot's Spring/Summer 2009 magazine, which I also got in the gift bag mentioned in the last post, has an editorial note called "Reality Check". In it, the Editor in Chief lists things that are "unreal" such as "Having your wedding on the same day as your best friend" (ala the movie Bride Wars), "Budgets with six zeroes, like those on Platinum Weddings", "Kicking your bridesmaid out of the wedding the day before" and "Ordering the cake a couple of weeks before the wedding."

My best friend isn't engaged, my budget doesn't have six zeroes, I don't have bridesmaids but it's a couple of weeks away from our wedding and no wedding cake has yet been ordered.

Carley, the editor, goes on to say "As if! The truth is you should allow six to nine months."

I'm not gonna front, I love wedding magazines. Seriously, I had no idea how much I didn't know. I learn more each week, usually while getting my toes painted (awesome as the magazines are, I'm an all-internet kind of girl). And it's not all fluff, as everyone who is not getting married assumes it is (ok, ok, as I assumed). There's a ton of useful information about negotiating with vendors, getting a dress on sale, and general tips and tricks about weddings that I would have never came up with on my own. And Theknot.com really has been invaluable.

But stuff like this makes me a little crazy. Six to nine months for a cake?! I've baked, I know how long cakes take. No cake takes a month, much less six. How long should the engagement be if the cake takes six to nine months? Six to nine years?

The idea that all things wedding-related need to be planned so far in advance to be right only adds to the stress of wedding planning. It gives brides too much time to fret over all the meaningless details. There are so many big details to fret over (wait, did our rabbi just suggest we have the ceremony in NY? 'Cause...that's not happening) that the idea that I have to spend nine months wondering if I've made the right cake choice (and, what? Checking in with my baker each month to see that they're still open for business and planning to bake our cake in like half a year?) just doesn't sit right with me.

We're visiting our wedding venue in the next few weeks. At that time, we'll meet with various bakers, florists and djs to decide exactly what we'd like. It will be about 3 weeks before our wedding day. And I trust that on our wedding day we'll have a cake, despite not having picked it out before we even got engaged. If not, maybe I'll owe The Knot an apology.


  1. Karol-
    I actually didn't get a wedding cake. I mean, who loves wedding cake?? Plus, I just don't really like cake and my soon-to-be-husband could care less. I thought about doing cupcakes but the restaurant we held the reception at was going to charge us to bring in cupcakes from outside the place so we just went with lots of different desserts that the restaurant made. No one even noticed we didn't have a cake. Plus, it left more time for dancing and having fun but I can't say I know of any brides not having a cake.
    Btw, your post made me laugh out loud about taking 6-9 months to make a cake. Hysterical.

  2. I like cake but yes, I'll totally live without one. I just think it's unlikely that it won't actually all come together in like 3 weeks instead of 9 months. We weren't even engaged 9 months ago!

  3. its all about quality not quantity .... they say and i also say who cares about cake we are celebrating your day on a beautiful island in the tropics
    and have to run around in bathing suits so who needs cake really :))))