Wednesday, March 11, 2009

On my head and hand

I'm on to veils and wedding bands, the kind you wear, not the kind that play music.

Both are proving to be somewhat difficult.

I purchased my dress at a Kleinfeld's sample sale and, while they did have veils on sale that day, I was too distracted by my big purchase, and the fact that I had to get back to work pronto, to care. This was a mistake. I should have tried on some veils while I had my dress on. I don't know how long the veil should be, what color, with beading or without. I do know that I need a blusher to wear under the chuppah. And yes, anyone that knows me knows it's amazing that I'm familiar with the word "blusher."

I took a stroll around NY's garment district today and ended up walking to Pronovias, a bridal salon that I love, to look at veils. But it's really not possible to pick a veil when you're wearing jeans and sneakers.

So what do I do? Do I put my gown on and go veil shopping? Or is this just one of those "don't overthink it" kind of things?

The wedding band is much harder because there is no choice but to overthink. This is the ring I'll wear for the rest of my life. Someday I will have to, I'm told, take off my engagement ring and wear this ring alone. It has to both not take away from my engagement ring and be able to be worn on its own.

I love, love, love, ok one more, love, my engagement ring. LOVE. It's a beautiful cushion-cut diamond on a classic 4-prong platinum band. I'd post a picture but IC will yell at me and call me tacky. But c'mon, how are you guys going to help me if I don't post the pic? I have to, right? You'll all back me up on this when he wakes up in 3 hours and reads this, yeah?

Photo by DMoment Photography.

The photo does no justice to the shiny beauty I get to wear on my finger every day. So what do I get to complement it?

My options seem to have narrowed to two (but feel free to chime in with other ideas). One, a bar setting ring (imagine the diamonds going all the way around the band, though):

Before you dismiss it out of hand, as I would have done before trying it on, recognize that the diamonds in my eventual ring will be smaller than the ones shown. Much smaller, I say. Not much, says IC. (Sidenote: I can't imagine too many men try to talk their chick into getting the bigger diamonds and have their girl refuse. I can't tell if that means IC is the awesomest or I am. I vote me.) Also, the platinum bars look really good with the platinum in my engagement ring. The problem is, I'm not sure that I love this ring on its own. With my engagement ring, very good. Without, less good.

This is the other option, the shared prong option:

More diamond, less platinum, and seemingly the obvious choice. But it looks a bit much with my engagement ring. It does look better on its own than the bar option, though.

After writing all this I realize that I'd love to have some more options for wedding bands so I welcome your suggestions. Veil suggestions also very appreciated. Come on smart people who read this blog, share what you know in the comment section.


  1. Hi Karol! Just stumbled upon your blog today and I LOVE it (and your style of writing). You actually got a few smiles and giggles out of me instead of furrowed brows and worry lines. As you may have guessed, I too just started to plan our wedding in Turks and Caicos and am feeling very overwhelmed. Excited to marry Bob, not overly excited to plan the wedding. Don't care about "colors" or bridesmaids. Get easily irritated that all people ask me these days is, "SOOOOOOOO did you pick a date, YET?!" I've already been in a zillion weddings, so maybe I'm jaded. Or, maybe I'm just not very bridey. Anyway, just wanted to let you know how much of a help your blog has been to me already. Thanks for posting your progress. :)

  2. I don't understand why you have to take off your engagement ring when you get the wedding band. I know plenty of people who wear both. Unless that feels obtrusive?
    Also, I have a feeling that you can purchase several veils, take them home try on the dress and then return the ones that don't match? Or is there no return policy in most of these places?

  3. Jewish tradition dictates getting married with a perfectly plain ring. I know some girls who get married under the chuppah with a plain band and then "upgrade" to the one they like to wear, then go back to the plain one if they are traveling or doing something non-diamond friendly.

    Why don't you go back to Pronovia or someplace, try on a similar dress to yours and then sample veils?

  4. Hi Beachbridlisa, glad to have you! You sound like my kind of bride! If you need T&C help, let me know.

    Anon, yeah women wear both until *a certain age*, that's what I'm told anyway. Apparently an engagement ring is for the more youthful among us. I don't know.

    Ladymathematician, I've read mixed things about the diamonds but we're going to discuss with our rabbi. The law specifically says that the ring should have no holes or dents but nothing really about diamonds. We'll see.

  5. Oh, and I've sort of figured out a solution. I'm taking my dress for alterations today and on the way there I'm going to stop by a recommended veil store ( and try some on with my gown.

  6. My aunt's wedding band and engagement ring are two different metals/styles, I think because the band matches the one my uncle wears, so she wears her band on her left hand (natch) and her engagement ring on her right. Just thought I'd throw that option into the mix as well.

  7. I was going to tell you about the Jewish thing - you can't get stones on the band you are getting married under the Chuppah in -but someone else also said it...It has to be perfectly smooth and with no nicks in it. You also can't buy it with your own money, your husband-to-be has to actually pay for it. I would never upgrade, I love my band - it's a knife-edge platinum band. I also have a solitaire (round) engagement ring, and after 6 years, I still wear both together all the time. The band is so narrow and thin, it adds to the diamond. But, I'm planning on a 10 year full-on diamond ring like the second photo you have up there ;) - for my right hand.

  8. My grandmother is 80 and still wears her engagement ring and wedding band together.

  9. Indeed, you have to choose your wedding ring dearly because it will remain a forever symbol of your love for one another. It doesn’t have to cost so much, but if you want a sophisticated bond ring, you will have to pay the price. After all, money is worthless when we’re talking about significant rings. Just remember to always be practical. :]