A destination wedding is plainly unlike other weddings. There are so many more moving pieces. Where will they sleep, what they will eat, where will they go, what will they do, how will they get there are all questions most regular weddings never have to deal with. And a destination wedding planned in like 2 months, well, that's unlike anything at all.
We're like thisclose to securing our location, the invitations are ready to be calligraphered (calligraphied? calligraphed?), and I'm having a few people over to help construct the invitations (because as previously mentioned the most un-arty girl in the whole world has decided to go with an arts&crafts project for an invitation) as soon as they arrive. Then the invitations go out and we need the reply card back with the quickness. In fact, we probably won't wait for the reply card in most cases, just get a response via email or phone. We need the hotel to hold a block of rooms for us and we need to give them a fairly accurate count asap.
So my etiquette question is this: can I ask people how they're looking before the invitations even go out? Like, now? We're working off a "likely" list of attendees which is about 2/3 of our guest list (see, IC, I can count and do percentages, 80 of 120 is 2/3 or 75%! JUST SAYING.). If someone on our likely list already knows that they're unlikely, I'd like (like, like, like) for them to tell us. But is it totally rude to ask? I mean, I know it is. But can I do it anyway?